Happy Harry?
by plotbunny231
Summary: The universe is conspiring against Harry Potter, (Boy Who Lived, Man Who Dreaded Waking Up In The Mornings and disturbingly enough, also, Man Who Now Thought In Capital Letters) - once more – this time, it's trying to find Harry a place where he can be happy. (Warning: might become SLASH later. Still not sure, will tell you at beginning of chapter if this is the case)
1. The Boy Who Lived No More

**Disclaimer: I own nothing in the Harry Potter universe - just playing with JK's lovely lovely characters. I don't make any money from these little drabbles - just have a lot of fun instead :)**

**A/N: made an update - no major changes, just made a change to the name of the ice cream place in Diagon Alley (changed from Flourish and Botts to Fortescu's) - I think that's right? If not you can scold me later :)**

**Warning: There will be SLASH (and some other potentially disturbing/hilarious bits involved). You have been warned. If you don't like - don't read. No flamers please as I have really given you enough warning. **

**Ch: 1 Waking Up / The Boy Who Lived No More**

Harry Potter, Boy Who Lived, Vanquisher of Voldemort (in one universe at any rate) Egotistical Megalomaniac (in another _very_ disturbing universe), and Man Who Dreaded Waking Up In The Mornings, groaned as the sun shone its bright rays almost tauntingly in his face, forcing him to wake up, very much against his wishes.

Today was The Day.

His birthday, and supposedly one of the best days of his life now that he was free from Voldemort and the Dursleys.

_Honestly, that sounded like a Rock band!_ He gave a snort of laughter at the thought before sighing once more, allowing himself the self-indulgence of wallowing in pity. He frowned to himself even as he heard Hermione's voice in his head telling him that it was _bad _ to wallow in self-pity.

Groaning once more in despair, he buried his head in the pillow in a vain attempt to shut out the cheerily beaming sunlight and thought back to the day that had Changed His Life. _Come to think of it, that was also the day he had started Thinking In Capital Letters._ He gave another snort at the thought.

Anyway on to...The Day That Changed His Life.

It wasn't The Day He Was Born; it wasn't even The Day Baby Harry Kicked Voldemort's Booty; to be completely honest, it wasn't even The Day Harry Potter (_Golden Boy Extraordinaire_, his traitorous mind snuck in) Had Vanquished Voldemort Once And For All.

No, it wasn't any of those big events in his life that had stood out as The Day That Changed His Life and only confirmed to him that he had the worst luck ever.

No, this Day had begun as yet another seemingly ordinary day, well, as ordinary as it could be for him with complete strangers coming up and wishing him a Happy Birthday, all but kissing the ground he walked on (not to mention whatever body part they could latch on to), walking along in Diagon Alley, his pockets heavier after his visit to Gringott's, his Auror's robes billowing out pleasantly behind him.

By all rights it should have been A Happy Day. Old Voldie had been dead (completely and forever this time) for two years, he had finally managed to graduate with the rest of his class (as eighth years since the small matter of a war had made it impossible to graduate as seventh years), he had moved into his own apartment, and he was doing the job he had wanted to for so long (his experience in the field – fighting Voldie and His Minions – had actually paid off in that his Auror training wasn't the requisite three years).

But – and here was the problem – the task of being the wizarding world's Saviour and Boy Wonder had taken its toll on Harry. He was disillusioned by life, and no longer felt the thrill of being an Auror. The eager anticipation of life, the _spark_ of something bright, something happy no longer existed in him. Sometimes, he wondered whether it had only ever existed for those precious few seconds when he had first glimpsed Hogwarts on that fateful day.

He sighed now, rolling onto his back allowing the bright rays of the morning sun to warm his suddenly cold skin. Casting a quick wandless Tempus he noted the time before allowing himself to sink back once again into his memories.

**10 years ago**

"Harry! Harry!"

"Hey Harry! Wait up!"

Sighing as he recognised the voices of his two best friends, Harry obligingly stopped.

_He was going to be meeting them in another hour – couldn't he at least have had a little time to himself? _

Immediately he squashed the traitorous thought.

They loved him and worried about him and now that they had finally gotten married, they wanted him to be as happy as they were. He sighed impatiently to himself at their naivety. Although they were same age and had gone through war together, he always felt older than Ron and Hermione. Sometimes he even envied them their naivety.

How on earth did they expect him to be happy, to find the other half of himself with the entire wizarding world either in raptures over him or wanting to curse him from here to eternity?

He turned around just as they caught up with him, wiping his dark thoughts from his face – lately he had gotten good at doing that – and replacing it with a small smile. Not a large one because he couldn't manage that, but a small one, just large enough to placate his two best friends.

"Harry, we're so glad we caught up with you. We wanted to give you a head's up that some of the guys were going to be planning a surprise party for you." Hermione stopped, biting her lip as Harry's small smile faded to be replaced with a look of resignation.

"Yeah mate. We know you're not big on the whole surprise, or even party thing, but no one seemed to listen. They all believe you need to have some fun now that old Voldie is gone." Ron said, understanding in his eyes as he watched Harry pull his mask back into place.

"We're sorry Harry, we tried to stop them." Hermione once again, touching his arm gently, questioningly. "But when we couldn't, we thought we'd give you enough warning to get out of it if you want."

Ron was nodding his head vigorously.

Harry sighed once more, running his hand through his hair in a familiar gesture of frustration. They meant well, they all meant well, but why could no one ever understand that he just needed to be. Left. Alone.

Ignoring the fascinated gazes of the passers by who were trying to listen in to their conversation (after all, it wasn't often that you caught the Golden Trio holding a conversation in the middle of Diagon Alley – and good luck with the listening in, thought Harry, since he had cast a silencing charm around them as soon as his friends had caught up with him), he bowed his head as he felt the frustration well up in him, churning his magic in a dangerous vortex. When was this Going. To. End.

Hermione's hand rubbed soothing circles on his arm, sensing he was close to breaking point. Even Ron stayed quiet not offering advice or platitudes as he watched his friend bring his magic under control. They had witnessed this often in the past, and although it was becoming more and more frequent, they had faith in him not to lose control – at least not in a crowded street where innocents could be harmed.

Shuddering at the effort it took him to bring himself under control, Harry lifted his head, giving a small but genuine smile at the two people who had stood by him all these long years.

Giving a sigh he briefly hugged both of them before grabbing onto both their arms.

"Come on, let's go over to Fortescu's, I need some ice cream, and I'm pretty sure I'm allowed to have as much as I want on my birthday."

They beamed at him, glad to have the old Harry back even if it was only for a few minutes.

Needless to say however, the day only went downhill from there as stranger after stranger came to wish him a happy birthday, not allowing him to even eat his ice cream in peace.

Unfortunately, the Great Ice Cream Debacle (as he had come to think of it), only set the tone for the rest of the day, and by the time he got back home he only had time to grab a few things before heading out to the 'surprise' party. He wouldn't have bothered really, but when he had learned that George was the one throwing the party he hadn't had the heart to refuse the twin anything. As bad as his life was, George's had to be worse losing the other half of himself like he had.

So here he was walking to the aparating point, tired, hungry, and still in his Auror's robes. The gentle jingle of galleons in his pocket reminding him that he had not been able to buy himself the gift he had promised himself.

So lost in his dark thoughts was he, that he failed to notice the furtive footsteps coming up behind him surrounding him. In fact it was only when he heard Hermione's and then Ron's frantic shouts did he realize that he was surrounded by Death Eaters (and one Werewolf).

Harry was disgusted with himself for being so unobservant, but a small voice in the back of his mind taunted him – _are you sure you didn't hear the footsteps? After all, you are a trained Auror. Could it possibly be that you wanted this to happen?_

That was the last coherent thought he had before he was thrown up and into the air as a number of killing curses filled the air.

Hermione's heartrending scream and Ron's horrified shout sent a wave of regret through him that his friends would have to suffer, but for himself, Harry was strangely content. Not happy, but...content. No more Boy Who Lived, no more Saviour of the Wizarding World.

And best of all, no more needing to pretend he was happy and that all was right with his world.

With one last sigh, Harry Potter, Boy Who Lived, lived no more.

**A/N: Hope you liked, please review if you can - _constructive_ feedback is always highly welcome :) **


	2. To-die-for hair and Amazing abs

**Disclaimer: I own nothing in the Harry Potter universe - just playing with JK's lovely lovely characters. I don't make any money from these little drabbles - just have a lot of fun instead :)**

**Warning: There will be SLASH (and some other potentially disturbing/hilarious bits involved). You have been warned. If you don't like - don't read. No flamers please as I have really given you enough warning.**

**Ch2: To-die-for hair and amazing abs**

"Harry...Harry...Wake up Harry..." the voice was gentle and strangely familiar.

"Mmnpf." He mumbled before turning around and trying to bury his head in his pillow again. "Later. Sleep now"

"I'm sorry Harry, you can't sleep now. You need to wake up and face the world." This time the voice was amused if a little regretful.

It was the tone of the voice that finally got through to Harry. Only one person in the world had ever been able to sound like that...and he was supposed to be dead. On that thought Harry came up blinking, the events of the night before crashing down on him. George's surprise party. A surprise ambush of Death Eaters. Hermione screaming.

Him dying.

He got up cautiously looking around, he was back on platform 9¾ and yes, that was Dumbledore sitting next to him.

Sighing Harry carded a hand through his hair. _Not again_. It was bad enough that his life couldn't be simple, why couldn't his death?

Leaning back against the seat Harry looked down, playing with his fingers, unwilling to look at Dumbledore, waiting for the other shoe to drop. _What did the universe want from him now?_

"Nothing Harry. Absolutely nothing."

Harry looked up. He knew he hadn't spoken out loud, so either his thoughts were on his face, or Dumbledore could read his mind. He sighed once again, _Oh well. It's not like my life was private when I was alive, why should it be different now that I'm dead._

Beside him Dumbledore delicately cleared his throat.

"That's what I'm here to talk about Harry. Technically, you're not dead."

_This again?_ Was his first thought.

Dumbledore smiled, "Yes Harry. I'm afraid so."

Sighing yet again _Shouldn't being dead be peaceful? No, wait that's right. I'm not dead. I'm still the effing Boy Who Lived. Maybe I couldn't die?_ He snorted at the thought, lost in contemplation unaware of the look of sorrow his former headmaster was bestowing upon him. Taking a deep breath he squared his shoulders, _Alright, time to find out what the Boy Who Lived has to do for the universe...yet again._

"That's just it Harry. You don't need to _do_ anything." Dumbledore took in the skeptical look sent his way. "Certain...people? No, that's not right. Beings? No." Dumbledore was mumbling under his breath now trying to find the right words. "Certain _sentient_ _forces_ have noticed that you're not happy Harry – " he ignored the eye roll and the snarky comment that winged through Harry's mind, continuing on blithely, "they have decided to get together to do what they can for you. It has been realised that a great burden was placed upon you at a young age, a burden which, although released to some extent upon Voldemort's defeat, you still carry heavily upon your shoulders."

Harry was back to playing with his fingers.

"This was not how it was supposed to be Harry. You were supposed to live a happy life after carrying out your tasks, not welcome and even look forward to the end of it."

By great dint of effort Harry managed to keep his bitter thoughts to himself. If the universe was aware of things, then all good and fine. He just wished it would hurry up and decide what it was going to do with him.

Dumbledore was still speaking. "I realize that I share a great deal of the blame, but that is another matter entirely and one we can discuss when you are ready to do so." He sighed, looking down at the messy head of hair next to him. The boy – no, young man – had yet to properly look at him. "In short Harry, the universe has decided to give you another chance at Being Happy. You will be guided – taken – to a place where there is a chance for you to regain the happiness you deserve. If – and only if – you find you can be happy there, you will be left to live out your life in peace until its natural end. If you're not happy however, the universe will take you once again to a place where you can be happy Harry."

_That sounds more like a bloody sentence to me than a benediction_. Harry snorted to himself. _So now, along with everything else I have the task of being Happy Harry so the universe could ease its conscience? _At this thought his lips tightened and his mind rebelled. He would not be held hostage to the whims of whatever _sentient forces_ were around. He would _not_ be happy.

Of course, as soon as the childish thought came to his mind he realised how silly it sounded. Was he really going to act like a five year old and stamp his foot, telling the universe to go eff itself because he, Harry Potter, absolutely refused to be manipulated anymore and therefore _refused_ to be happy?

Even to him that sounded...stupid.

Sighing yet again, Harry finally looked up at his mentor. "What now sir?"

Dumbledore smiled for the first time. "Now Harry, now, I take my leave of you and hand you over to kindly Fate who has been waiting eagerly to meet you." He leaned in conspiratorially, "Between you and me Harry, I think she has a crush on you. Something about your to-die-for hair and amazing six-pack. Lemon drop?"

Harry shook his head even as a red blush enveloped him. He hadn't thought it was possible to blush in the afterlife, but apparently he had been wrong. Dumbledore twinkled at him in a familiar manner and popped a lemon drop in his mouth.

"Oi! Albus!" the squeal (shriek?) of indignation could be heard across the platform as Dumbledore kept sucking his sweet, trading a conspiratorial wink with Harry who still looked dazed.

_Fate had crush on him? She (Fate was a *she*?) She thought his hair was 'to-die-for' and his abs were amazing? Wait! How did she know what his abs looked like? Had she been spying on him?_ Harry's face, if possible, flushed even redder at the thought and was not helped by the peal of laughter Fate gave, or the kindly hand patting his head.

Dumbledore stood up, looking down at Harry, a small smile on his face. "We shall part ways for now young Harry, but never worry, you are in good hands."

Harry could only blink and watch as the headmaster strode off down the platform to disappear in a swirl of smoke.

To his complete and utter mortification, Fate sat down next to him, still laughing.

**A/N: sorry if I've made any mistakes in the story, but it's been an age since I actually read the actual HP books and not just the fanfics :) - that said, if there are any glaring mistakes pls tell me and I will take the necessary steps. As for everything else, this story is AU and non-canon. I just like playing with the characters :) Anyway, I hope you like what you've read so far, and I will keep updating as my schedule permits. Reviews would be very welcome (hint hint ;) ...and oh, I also realised that it should be "Fortescu's" that they go to for the ice cream (in Ch1) - not Flourish and Botts. Am changing that accordingly. **


	3. In another universe, far, far away

**Disclaimer: I own nothing in the Harry Potter universe - just playing with JK's lovely lovely characters. I don't make any money from these little drabbles - just have a lot of fun instead :)**

**Warning: There will be SLASH (and some other potentially disturbing/hilarious bits of non-slash involved). You have been warned. If you don't like - don't read. No flamers please as I have really given you enough warning.**

**A/N: Gosh gosh gosh – I'm terribly nervous now that I know people are actually *reading* what I've written! Anyway, thanks to all those kind souls who've taken the time to read the small bits and pieces I write. Hopefully I'll be able to keep to a decent quality and not fall to bits at the thought of people actually *reading* my work! (In case you haven't guessed this is the very first piece of writing that has met the eyes of anyone other than myself :) Anyhoo, enough chit chat, please read, hopefully enjoy and maybe review? :) :) **

* * *

**Ch: 3 In another universe, far, far away**

from end of ch 2_: To his complete and utter mortification, Fate sat down next to him, still laughing._

* * *

"So Harry, how are you?"

Harry looked at Fate with confusion – well more like glanced up and then back down as quickly as possible since his face was still as red as a strawberry.

_She wanted to talk to him about *how he was*? Couldn't she see that he was *not fine*? He was between worlds, not dead, yet not alive either, and she wanted to know how he was?_ Shaking his head at the inconsistencies of the universe yet again, Harry kicked a gentle foot against the foot of the bench waiting for Fate to make her move – _no wait! That sounded *so* wrong after the whole to-die-for hair and amazing abs thing. Must not let mind wander in the afterlife – was not good for health, _he mentally chastised his brain before going off another tangent, wondering whether you *could* have good health in the afterlife?

And that of course was when he knew that he had lost his marbles completely, because here was Fate – admittedly a totally hot and heart-stopping vision – sitting next to him, and there he was rambling on in his mind about...well...things. It was at about this point in his musings that he realized that Fate was waving her electric blue nail polished hand in front of him trying to get his attention.

"Yeah, sorry." He mumbled, still refusing to look at her.

"Look Harry, I'm sorry you're embarrassed because that Lemon Drop addict told you that I think you're hot – which you are btw – but the truth of the matter is that we have to work together if we're going to get things done and find you a happy universe. That means that you're going to have to look at me at some point in time. And tbh, now is as good a time as any. And btw, you can call me Kate"

Harry looked up at her as she spoke, confusion on his face.

_Btw? Tbh? What was she talking about?_

"Huh? Btw? Tbh?"

Fate – call me Kate – gave a peal of laughter when she realized he had no clue what she was talking about. Wizard, not muggle, she reminded herself. Giggling, "btw – means 'by the way'. And tbh means 'to be honest'. Sorry Harry, I forgot that you weren't up on muggle social speak."

_*That* was muggle social speak? How on earth did they have proper conversations if they only spoke using letters?_ He tuned back in when he realized that Kate was still talking – in fact, she didn't seem to have *stopped* talking.

"...so...you agree?"

He blinked at her owlishly. _What was he supposed to be agreeing to?_

"Umm...what exactly am I supposed to be agreeing to?" he decided to proceed cautiously, you never knew what Fate had in store for you, and now, having met her up close, he was even warier.

"I wanted to send you through to different universes where there would be a possibility for you to find happiness."

"But what about my own universe? Why can't I go back there?"

"Well, number one: You're Dead in that universe just in case you forgot –"

"Wait – I thought I hadn't died?" Harry asked suspiciously'

Fate – no, Kate – shifted uncomfortably, "Well, that's the thing, you're dead, but not dead – see what I mean? So anyway, as I was saying –" she tried to hurry on but Harry was having none of that, he hadn't faced Voldemort only to be sidetracked by Fate – no Kate, dammit!

"Kate, what exactly do you mean, 'I'm dead – but not dead'? I can be either one or the other, not both."

Kate shifted again, an uncomfortable look passing over her features. "Umm. I'm afraid you died in your own timeline Harry...because, well...you didn't have the will to live anymore. But we – the universe that is – we don't want you to die like that, because, well, you sacrificed so much for what needed to be done, and you deserve to have some happiness. And besides, yourmumkickedourbuttsfornotlookingafteryou" she finished on a mumble.

Harry blinked as he tried to decipher that last jumble of words that had come rushing out of Kate's mouth. "So...what you're saying is that you're scared of my mum?" Harry looked around hopefully wondering if he would catch sight of Lily Potter.

Kate grimaced and nodded her head somewhat sheepishly, "Yeah Harry, that's basically it. Lily threatened us with all manner of unpleasant things if we didn't find a way for you to be happy – and not only happy, but happy enough to want to *live*. She said she wants to see you happy, that she didn't sacrifice herself so we could and muck things up. And I quote, _"I won't have you making my baby unhappy after everything he's gone through – you will find a way to make him happy – happy enough to want to live and experience what life has to offer!_" and then she gave us her 'mum' stare." Kate shuddered in remembrance. "I never want to get on the bad side of that woman ever again Harry, she's scary!"

Harry chuckled at this, awed by the extent to which his mother was still looking after him. Although, tbh, he shouldn't be surprised.

"And that's why you're going to be happy, even if it kills us!" Kate sounded *very* determined.

"I guess." Harry merely shrugged a shoulder, pulling his mask of indifference over his face even though he was still chuckling inside. No need to give Kate too much of an upper hand. Besides, if his mum thought he deserved some happiness, then maybe it was true. He would try to be happy – it was after all the least he could do for her.

Kate beamed at him, completely ignoring his lack of enthusiasm. Harry shook his head slightly in bemusement, surely it was wrong on so many levels that Fate was reminiscent of Nymphadora Tonks.

"Right then Harry, hold on. We'll drop you in to your new home and you can see how you like it, and whether you can find happiness there."

"Drop? Wha- !"

Kate smiled happily as Harry disappeared.

* * *

**In another universe, far, far away**

"Harry. Harry. Wake up Harry. It's time to play. But, why are you wearing your Auror robes? I thought we were going to play Dragon Tamer!" The voice, gentle though it was, sounded confused and pouty...and very familiar.

Harry struggled up through layers of darkness even as his mind supplied him with information.

Kate. Fate. Happiness. And _being dropped_ dammit! He was going to have to have a long talk with her! What had she been thinking?!

Of course, there were other sensations coming through to him now, physical sensations that his Auror's brain was working hard to process.

Ginny. The voice belonged to Ginny.

His brow scrunched as he tried to piece it together. But why did she want to play? And what was wrong with his Auror robes? Dragon Tamer?

He shifted restlessly, stopping when he realized two things simultaneously – one, he was seated; and two, he was tied to aforementioned seat.

Harry's eyes opened in panic then closed again almost immediately against the sight in front of him. He groaned. What had Kate gotten him into?

"Mione! Harry's finally awake. But I think he wants to play Auror again." He heard the distinct pout in her voice as she called out to Hermione.

Harry blanched.

He. Did not. Want. To see. Hermione.

After seeing Ginny dressed in leather, latex and fur – an outfit that also had strategically cut holes in it – and thigh high boots, with an idly twirling a whip in one hand, he most definitely Did. Not. Want. To. See. Hermione.

This Was Just Wrong. On so many levels. He sighed, wishing he could rub away the headache he could feel forming in the back of his head. A wish he was regretting not being able to fulfill when Hermione's voice drifted through from the next room.

"Now Harry, you know you promised Ginny we could play Dragon Tamer today. Besides, we played Auror last time. Gin – have you seen the strawberry oil? I have a craving to taste strawberry tonight!" Hermione's voice, sounding like her usual calm voice when presenting him with irrefutable facts, made him shudder once more, _he would never look at strawberries in quite the same way, he thought despairingly_.

Hearing a soft rustling near him, he cracked open his eyelids to see what was happening.

Ginny – dear Merlin, a dominatrix Ginny – was prowling up to him a lustful, predatory smile on her lips.

"Yeah Harry," the words were husky and sent an involuntary shudder through him – a shudder of fear and lust if he was completely honest with himself, which he was trying very hard not to be. "We're playing Dragon Tamer today, so," she straddled his hips, "you are most definitely," she waved her wand over him, "overdressed."

With a sense of unreality and shock Harry watched as his Auror robes disappeared completely, leaving him as bare as the day he was born _(for a few seconds only his judicious brain piped up_), before he was robed once more – this time, in a jewel hued robe, and a pair of black dragon hide chaps, leaving him otherwise bare and on display for Ginny's avid gaze.

He gave a panicked look at Ginny who was still straddling his hips – _how she had managed to stay there while vanishing and reappearing clothes on him he had no idea, but she *was* undeniably still there_ – a look of lust and anticipation on her face as she pressed forward, aligning her body with his, her lips coming closer and closer.

Harry blinked, beginning to hyperventilate even as other parts of him sat up at attention and started taking notice of the warm bundle of Ginny pressing into him.

"Oi! Gin Gin! No starting without us!" Hermione's voice – he refused to think of her as 'Mione' – came through sharply, although with amusement underlying the words.

He had never been so glad to hear Hermione's voice as he was then. Although he was sure his eyeballs had seared into his head when he had unthinkingly looked her way. Screwing his eyes tightly shut, he tried to get the unfortunate image out of his mind. His brain however chose that moment to connect Hermione's words together bringing a fear down upon him that he had not felt even when dealing with Voldemort.

_'No starting without *us*?' There were more of them?_

Dear Merlin what type of things was he into, in this universe? And more to the point, what was Kate *thinking* dropping him here?

Fortunately for Harry, that's when his brain kicked backed into gear. "Kate! Kate where in all of Merlin's Hells *are* you?"

Frowning Ginny slid off him, exchanging a glance with Hermione who just shrugged. "We don't know a Kate, Harry, but if you want her to come play with us we're fine with that."

Harry choked on the images *that* thought brought up – he shuddered, _he would never be the same again –_ and kept right on calling for Kate, threatening Kate, pleading with Kate.

Hermione, looking confused and concerned now, quickly turned her head as a newcomer entered the room. "Hey Millie? Do *you* know a Kate?"

Harry turned his head, looked and started screaming. He wasn't ashamed to admit it. He. Screamed.

Seeing Ginny had stretched him thin. Seeing Hermione had nearly derailed him. Seeing 'Millie' however – Millicent Bulstrode – dressed in a similar fashion to Ginny and Hermione, drove him over the edge.

"KATE! Get. Me. Out of here. NOW!"

* * *

A pull and a tug, a sudden whooshing sound, and Harry knew that he was back on platform 9¾ again. He shuddered. He had never been so glad to see that platform in all his life. Still refusing to open his eyes, feeling very slightly dizzy, Harry shook his head. He was going to be scarred for life.

"Umm Harry..." Kate's hesitant voice prompted him to open his eyes and look up at the anxiously hovering Kate.

He took a deep breath on seeing the apology, amusement and something else (_was it lust?_) in her eyes. And it was only as he did so that he realized he was still bound to that blasted chair. And that he was still wearing the Dragon Tamer robes and leather chaps and nothing else, and that he was to his somewhat humiliated surprise, still at attention. Apparently the dizziness had ensued from a lack of blood to his brain, not to...other parts. And dammit! That *was* lust in her eyes.

Brilliant emerald green eyes seared into Kate, making her take a step back – _that was satisfying, he thought smugly_ – and spoke through tightly clenched lips. "My Auror robes. Now. And get me the hell out of this chair!"

Kate nodded her head slowly, biting her lip as she waved her hand.

Finding himself free and once more dressed in his Auror robes, Harry rubbed his wrists before stalking menacingly up to Kate. When he was level with her he merely looked down into her eyes. "I would not have been happy there."

Kate blinked at the innocuous words.

"Make sure. Never. To put me. In a place like that. Ever. Again."

Kate nodded her head cautiously, obviously all the stories about the Boy Who Lived were true. She sighed wistfully to herself. And my, did he live up to them.

The Boy Who Lived had turned into the Man Who Was *Hot*.

She all but swooned when he turned and stalked over to the bench, freeing her from the forceful aura of those brilliant green orbs. Unobtrusively she fanned herself hoping that no one – especially not Lily Potter – could see her.

Settling himself insouciantly on the bench, one arm stretched across the back, his legs stretched out in front of him, Harry smirked at her from his seat and lifted an eyebrow in a manner that would have made Snape proud,

"Well? Where are you going to dump me next?"

Kate blinked.

* * *

**A/N: I was trying to aim for a slightly different humorous bent on this chapter. Hopefully I didn't fall too far off the mark. And I know this isn't cannon, but sorry for any really glaring mistakes.**


	4. I'm not a chapter but please read me

**A/N** Hi all, I'm terribly sorry about the lack of update - unfortunately there's been an emergency in my family and I'm not feeling particularly happy enough to write, right now. So if you'll forgive me and bear with me, I promise to come back and make good on making Harry Happy :)

On the upside my dreams these days involve some amusing and interesting Harry plotbunnies so hopefully I'll be able to get back to you with a useful update soon :)


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